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Scary & Frightful 2020

It is Halloween. Halloween 2020. For some reason it feels more wicked than usual. Maybe we have a bit more angst this year that we’re ready to free ourselves of and watch the ghosts of this year bid farewell. Tonight, whether you choose to partake in any festivities or trick-or-treating, it’s bound to be different. 2020 has been kicking us around all year and I’m sure you have had your share of heartache, panic attacks, bouts of anger, grief, and perhaps, hopefully – even joy.

I have not written a post in so long that I had forgotten how to even log into my blog. I’ve been attempting to grow in other areas of my life that my writing has taken a back seat. However, today – this wonderful day of spookiness has me flooded with words, bubbling underneath my skin like the soup of a witch’s caldron. I want to connect with you over these words – over this technology that webs us together so that we might collectively smile a big jack o’lantern smile over our place in the journey right now.

Images of the jack o’lantern I did not carve this year due to an early freeze, snow fall, and subsequent slow slimy death of the pumpkins on my front steps – brings about memories of the movie Fight Club. This was a movie from the ’90s with Brad Pitt, Ed Norton, and Helena Bonham Carter. Within that movie there is a line that was stated as part of an oath to join fight club and that line was this:

The first rule about fight club is that you don’t talk about fight club. The second rule about fight club is that you don’t talk about fight club.

The action within the fight club could get to be quite gruesome and hard to stomach at times. Yet, the individuals in this group felt a comradery that they did not experience readily outside of the club. The club ended up fulfilling a need that they had and whether the club itself was a healthy way to connect or fulfill a need is not something I will analyze here. What is reminding me of this movie right now is the turmoil I feel we are all collectively facing in our country; whether it is the fight for equality and educating ourselves about biases that need reckoning with, to the political nonsense of our country, and the global pandemic that keeps us all at a distance from one another and taking precautions each day that indeed remind us that we are, all well – in the fight club.

We may be a bit marred by what has been happening in 2020. It has felt anywhere from batshit crazy to a lulled passivity imparted by feelings of disempowerment. However, this coming week is election day and in our democracy, this is where we can feel empowered. We need to be making our own individual voices and collective voices heard. I do not know what November 4th will look like, but I will be spending November 3rd fulfilling the role of an election judge to assist in this very important election year. I need to see with my own eyes that my community is showing up. While I have already voted, as I am sure many of you have as well, I feel strongly that November 3rd itself serves as an important reminder that we can come together to create much needed change. Even if the election results do not end up in the way I have voted – I can be assured that there are enough people in our nation that will not rest until we start to make some much needed changes that recognizes every human being for their innate rights.

“’Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

The wind is blowing so strongly right now that my front door is rattling like the bones of a skeleton. I’m watching as leaves and other debris fly by my window as this general unrest continues. Yet, this might be nature sending us another sign that it’s time rise up, to clear out the cloudiness in our minds, and remember that we are capable of loving one another. Even in Fight Club it was about showing up, giving it your all, feeling satisfied with your efforts, smiling through the marring, regrouping, resting, and showing up again for the next round. We’ve had many rounds to show up for this year and we still have a few months to go.

This Halloween, dress up and scare yourself, but also care for yourself. Laugh at how silly you can be and enjoy some treats. All of these activities can be done safely and I trust that you will do so. We need to show up for one another again tomorrow, when we’ve turned the calendar to November. It’ll be time to clear out the cobwebs from Halloween and begin to establish our hygge for the winter months. There is something comforting about embracing the scariness, dancing with it into the night, and then releasing it – letting it go and surrendering to new light.

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