You are not alone. Have you heard that one before? Yah, me too. I know it is said with the best of intentions and that deep down I KNOW that my experience at any point is likely very similar to one that you’ve also had – but let’s be honest. Don’t you still just feel alone?
My son has been ill for a couple of weeks now and we are not sure what it is that he is dealing with or really what the best course of action is for him. We have spent time at the walk-in-clinic, emergency room, and even a short stay at the hospital so that he could receive pain medication, fluids, and anti-nausea medication intravenously while tests were run. We still have no definitive answers.
Oh so normal
I have walked into brightly lit stores this week that are buzzing with holiday flare. Unfortunately, some of these stores have skipped right over Halloween and Thanksgiving and are adorning brightly colored balls of red and green. My reaction each time has been a scornful “how could you?!” I am not sure who I am asking this question to, but it beckons for an answer. The semblance of business as usual in the stores has turned my stomach. My life does not feel usual right now so how can the rest of the world just seem so normal?
The pile of shit
Let me be clear, since I realize that this might seem like a plea for help. I completely appreciate that my life is very normal and that every life has obstacles and troubles. In fact, a dear friend of mine that passed away a few years ago, shared with me about her life with cancer, that when you sit around and listen to what shit others are dealing with in their life, you realize that if all of those were put into a pile in the middle of the room and you had to leave with one of them, you’d likely choose your own. It can sure seem shitty, but you fully appreciate that it’s all relative to what or who you are comparing yourself to.
Yet joy happens too
This week I also celebrated my 15th anniversary of marriage to my incredible husband. There are so many feelings that come up in marriage and they aren’t all warm and loving, but they are real and multi-dimensional. Never simple. Super complex – don’t you agree? We marked the day by taking it off work and spending it together doing whatever we wanted on our own impromptu schedule. It was lovely. We spent a lot of time riding around on our bikes through leaves and embracing the fall air. We both were extremely grateful for that reprieve in our week.
The path to wellness
Today I’m back to being concerned about my son that does not seem to be showing much improvement and we continue to look for answers. It is at times like this that I’m reminded of how much we really need to advocate for our own health and work hard to better understand our individually unique dietary and nutritional needs. I don’t believe there is a one size fits all health plan out there. I know that our minds also have a lot of influence on our body’s ability to fight infections and be strong. Unfortunately, my son’s mindset right now is very negative and I can’t help but wonder how much that mindset is preventing his path to wellness.
Two important caregiver tips
Parenting sure isn’t easy and while I still feel like I’m trying to figure myself out – I’ve got three other human beings (if you don’t count my husband) that I’m also attempting to assist in understanding themselves. It is a wild ride, let me tell ya! If I’ve learned anything in 13+ years of being a parent it is very important that you take the time to care for yourself as best you can so that you can 1) show up better for those you love 2) model how important self-care and self-discovery are to long term wellbeing. I’m reminding myself of these again now.
As you go through your days and swap out one struggle or trouble for another and find joy in special occasions or being proud of the fact that you did what was necessary to care for yourself, know that I get it. I get you. I know that in a pile of shitty circumstances, you’re likely to find peace in your own. There is power in that my friend.